when faced with news that sits on your chest like a cinder block, the crushing weight of it slowly leaves cracks wide enough for fear to creep in.
when the fear creeps in, with it comes all sorts of dark and dreary thoughts, feelings, emotions, and worst of all-
it sucks out all the hope and light.
suffocates it.
drowns it out.

cinder blocks aren't meant for sitting on our chest.
but we walk around carrying them anyways.
because, that's life.
we get bad news.
we don't understand.
we mess things up.

sometimes we carry them so long, we forget what it's even like to take a deep breath.
what it's like to walk around breathing, moving, laughing, and being without a brick of cement crushing us.

I don't know the specifics of what your cinder block is called.
but I bet you know the feeling.
I bet you've also searched for that thing called "courage" when the bad news came, after the mistake was made, or during the moments of confusion and fear.

courage.

courage to me means being brave enough to put the cinder block on the ground.
pick it up.
and set it down.

we aren't meant to walk around letting the cracks in us widen and fill with darkness and fear.
we aren't meant to live our lives crushing under the pressure of past mistakes, bad news, or unexplainable unfairness.

leaving the cement on our chests is actually the easy way out.
it's easier to let the fear suffocate the hope.
it's easier to let despair push out peace.
it's easier to walk away forsaken, then walk toward being found.

it takes courage to allow yourself to take a deep breath.
to laugh, even when your sad.
to hope, against all odds.
to fight for light and peace.
to pray.
to ask.
to be without cinder blocks.

There is one who will carry them for us.
will pull us from our own weary worlds.
who will never forsaken or forget.
who will fill us with light and hope.

you know who He is.

He will be the courage that we lack.
if we let Him.

if we let go of our tight grip on those burdens sitting on our chests.
if we pick them up, and set them down.

find the courage.
find it in Him.

and breathe again.


courage.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

when faced with news that sits on your chest like a cinder block, the crushing weight of it slowly leaves cracks wide enough for fear to creep in.
when the fear creeps in, with it comes all sorts of dark and dreary thoughts, feelings, emotions, and worst of all-
it sucks out all the hope and light.
suffocates it.
drowns it out.

cinder blocks aren't meant for sitting on our chest.
but we walk around carrying them anyways.
because, that's life.
we get bad news.
we don't understand.
we mess things up.

sometimes we carry them so long, we forget what it's even like to take a deep breath.
what it's like to walk around breathing, moving, laughing, and being without a brick of cement crushing us.

I don't know the specifics of what your cinder block is called.
but I bet you know the feeling.
I bet you've also searched for that thing called "courage" when the bad news came, after the mistake was made, or during the moments of confusion and fear.

courage.

courage to me means being brave enough to put the cinder block on the ground.
pick it up.
and set it down.

we aren't meant to walk around letting the cracks in us widen and fill with darkness and fear.
we aren't meant to live our lives crushing under the pressure of past mistakes, bad news, or unexplainable unfairness.

leaving the cement on our chests is actually the easy way out.
it's easier to let the fear suffocate the hope.
it's easier to let despair push out peace.
it's easier to walk away forsaken, then walk toward being found.

it takes courage to allow yourself to take a deep breath.
to laugh, even when your sad.
to hope, against all odds.
to fight for light and peace.
to pray.
to ask.
to be without cinder blocks.

There is one who will carry them for us.
will pull us from our own weary worlds.
who will never forsaken or forget.
who will fill us with light and hope.

you know who He is.

He will be the courage that we lack.
if we let Him.

if we let go of our tight grip on those burdens sitting on our chests.
if we pick them up, and set them down.

find the courage.
find it in Him.

and breathe again.


I am reading a book "rising strong" by brene brown.

and some words jumped off the page for me.


the middle.

we have all found ourselves (or probably are currently) in the middle of something.

I one time decided I was going to make a very fancy dessert called Lemon Chiffon Pie.
that thing tastes like heaven.
but baking it takes nearly every pot, pan, bowl, spoon, rubber spatula, and ounce of concentration you posses to get it right. and then sometimes it still turns its nose up at you and decides it's just gonna lay there flat and not even care.
but, it tastes like heaven, and I like a big "ta-da!" finish when  it comes to my desserts. not every time, because lets face it, I also really like a box of hot tamales or a good s'more, but as far as lemon chiffon goes, I want that "ta-da!". I want the end result. so i'll put up with the middle mess to get to it.

what about the middle of....

parenting.
marriage.
a relationship.
a job.
school.
a soccer game.
a deadline.
an argument.
a health and wellness goal.
a breakup.
a project.

the middle is messy.
it's upside down, twisty, sometimes takes every ounce of concentration and every dang dish in your kitchen. it takes sweat, tears, and pure determination. it takes all of you. and then some.

for what?

okay. back to Lemon Chiffon.
when you start to do that whipping thing, and using the very fine strainer to make the perfect consistency of the bottom layer--- it starts to come together and, magic. you can see the end-ish in that messy middle.

the messy middles of our day to day create magic in a way that is heart wrenching but purifying. they crack open our hearts and dump them upside down, but then fill them back up to the brim. they open our eyes to new insights, inspiration, ideas, and possibilities.
they make us vulnerable and open to new things.
new understandings.
they make us sensitive to our inner desires, and push us to become better.
they bring us to our knees, and to God.

without messy middles, there would be no growth.
no stretching.
no learning.

but. they are still messy.
i'm trying to embrace the messy middles of my life. the times when I would really like to just put my head down and power through without looking up, instead I want to look up. look around. find God there, and search for what He's tidying up through this mess.
because that's just what He does, doesn't He?
he takes our mess, and turns them into beautiful moments of strength and power.
he takes whatever we are, and refines us to become what he believes we can be.

we're not perfect.
but we're trying.

and although we may be up to our elbows in a messy middle of (fill in the blank)... that's okay.
because messy middles, equal magic.
we just have to look around and find it.



the middle.

Friday, December 23, 2016

I am reading a book "rising strong" by brene brown.

and some words jumped off the page for me.


the middle.

we have all found ourselves (or probably are currently) in the middle of something.

I one time decided I was going to make a very fancy dessert called Lemon Chiffon Pie.
that thing tastes like heaven.
but baking it takes nearly every pot, pan, bowl, spoon, rubber spatula, and ounce of concentration you posses to get it right. and then sometimes it still turns its nose up at you and decides it's just gonna lay there flat and not even care.
but, it tastes like heaven, and I like a big "ta-da!" finish when  it comes to my desserts. not every time, because lets face it, I also really like a box of hot tamales or a good s'more, but as far as lemon chiffon goes, I want that "ta-da!". I want the end result. so i'll put up with the middle mess to get to it.

what about the middle of....

parenting.
marriage.
a relationship.
a job.
school.
a soccer game.
a deadline.
an argument.
a health and wellness goal.
a breakup.
a project.

the middle is messy.
it's upside down, twisty, sometimes takes every ounce of concentration and every dang dish in your kitchen. it takes sweat, tears, and pure determination. it takes all of you. and then some.

for what?

okay. back to Lemon Chiffon.
when you start to do that whipping thing, and using the very fine strainer to make the perfect consistency of the bottom layer--- it starts to come together and, magic. you can see the end-ish in that messy middle.

the messy middles of our day to day create magic in a way that is heart wrenching but purifying. they crack open our hearts and dump them upside down, but then fill them back up to the brim. they open our eyes to new insights, inspiration, ideas, and possibilities.
they make us vulnerable and open to new things.
new understandings.
they make us sensitive to our inner desires, and push us to become better.
they bring us to our knees, and to God.

without messy middles, there would be no growth.
no stretching.
no learning.

but. they are still messy.
i'm trying to embrace the messy middles of my life. the times when I would really like to just put my head down and power through without looking up, instead I want to look up. look around. find God there, and search for what He's tidying up through this mess.
because that's just what He does, doesn't He?
he takes our mess, and turns them into beautiful moments of strength and power.
he takes whatever we are, and refines us to become what he believes we can be.

we're not perfect.
but we're trying.

and although we may be up to our elbows in a messy middle of (fill in the blank)... that's okay.
because messy middles, equal magic.
we just have to look around and find it.



my experience with light, is that it spreads.
a little spark passed from person to person can ignite a burning fire in them.

a few months ago, I was a different person. I was walking in darkness, by choice. you probably wouldn't know that unless you were in my "inner circle" because i'm good at fake light. you know what I mean?

anyways, it just so happened that I was scheduled to go on a pioneer trek with 600 or something youth in the mountains for three days and photograph them during their experience.
when someone is in the dark, being in light is uncomfortable and hard.
so I was sorta dreading this three day mountain pioneer reenactment.
but, I was committed, and I have a tendency to do the "right" things out of obligation at times, and usually those things plop me down right where God wants me and turn into huge milestones in my life.
this was no exception.

I went, pioneer skirt on and camera in hand.

and three days later, i was a changed girl.
the light that was poured into me by others will forever be burned on my heart, because it saved me.

my husband came up on the third day. he was the one most desperate for me to be back in the light with him, and most painfully aware of where i was instead.

he said that when he saw me, i looked physically different.
I had light.

I did!
why?

because strangers, friends, and acquaintances let their light shine. for me! their little sparks of light spread into a burning fire that overwhelmed the dark and confusion and sad in my heart, and turned me away from the cliff of darkness and toward my Savior and His love + light.

all on a pioneer reenactment. ha ha

and from there, little steps of faith and trusting in God, and I am okay again.

what amazes me is, i'm just a girl.
I don't have some big huge significance in the world.
and yet.... Jesus Christ, He doesn't "just" see me.
He SEES me.
and you.
He didn't just see fishermen, he saw apostles.
He loves us totally and completely, and He is concerned for us, He cares about His lost sheep.
whether you're just a little way off, or very far away.
it makes no difference in His love.
or His concern.

I believe in the power of you.
you can change someone's heart.
your light can make all the difference in your corner of the world.
light your world.
we are His hands, here on earth. We have to share, to shine, to be who He knows we are.

let your light so shine, & glorify your Father in Heaven.

DOWNLOAD this hand lettered printable! it is 8x10 and can be printed on photo paper or regular paper. gift it, frame it, email it, but please do not sell it.

 (learn about #LighttheWorld)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
you are loved, by the Savior of the World.

-court


light.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

my experience with light, is that it spreads.
a little spark passed from person to person can ignite a burning fire in them.

a few months ago, I was a different person. I was walking in darkness, by choice. you probably wouldn't know that unless you were in my "inner circle" because i'm good at fake light. you know what I mean?

anyways, it just so happened that I was scheduled to go on a pioneer trek with 600 or something youth in the mountains for three days and photograph them during their experience.
when someone is in the dark, being in light is uncomfortable and hard.
so I was sorta dreading this three day mountain pioneer reenactment.
but, I was committed, and I have a tendency to do the "right" things out of obligation at times, and usually those things plop me down right where God wants me and turn into huge milestones in my life.
this was no exception.

I went, pioneer skirt on and camera in hand.

and three days later, i was a changed girl.
the light that was poured into me by others will forever be burned on my heart, because it saved me.

my husband came up on the third day. he was the one most desperate for me to be back in the light with him, and most painfully aware of where i was instead.

he said that when he saw me, i looked physically different.
I had light.

I did!
why?

because strangers, friends, and acquaintances let their light shine. for me! their little sparks of light spread into a burning fire that overwhelmed the dark and confusion and sad in my heart, and turned me away from the cliff of darkness and toward my Savior and His love + light.

all on a pioneer reenactment. ha ha

and from there, little steps of faith and trusting in God, and I am okay again.

what amazes me is, i'm just a girl.
I don't have some big huge significance in the world.
and yet.... Jesus Christ, He doesn't "just" see me.
He SEES me.
and you.
He didn't just see fishermen, he saw apostles.
He loves us totally and completely, and He is concerned for us, He cares about His lost sheep.
whether you're just a little way off, or very far away.
it makes no difference in His love.
or His concern.

I believe in the power of you.
you can change someone's heart.
your light can make all the difference in your corner of the world.
light your world.
we are His hands, here on earth. We have to share, to shine, to be who He knows we are.

let your light so shine, & glorify your Father in Heaven.

DOWNLOAD this hand lettered printable! it is 8x10 and can be printed on photo paper or regular paper. gift it, frame it, email it, but please do not sell it.

 (learn about #LighttheWorld)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
you are loved, by the Savior of the World.

-court



I stood in line at my little grocery store waiting with the other people to send all of our Christmas packages to their homes. I already felt very fragile...
the stress of my day was building..
waiting in line praying that the post man wouldn't pick up that days postage before it was my turn was bringing silly, but real tears close to the surface.
as I stood there, in my own little world, I watched other people, in their own little worlds.

I saw one young boy smile and talk kindly to an elderly lady about a new kind of ice cream. his exchanges with her were genuine and loving.

I watched as a young married man who worked there saw that a woman had left her milk, and took off running out into 3 degrees to find her and get it to her.

a grandma spoiling a cute tiny girl with a donut with pink icing and sprinkles. their smiles were contagious...

I watched my friend, Rayne, working hard trying to help each person in front of me. the post office can be a confusing place, so many shipping options and times and prices. she took her time with each person, always smiling and a "almost to you, court!" to me after each person. maybe she could see me crumbling a little bit as each minute passed..

I stood there, very still, and I realized I was gripping my bag so tightly, like I was trying to hold myself together by sheer force of my willpower.

it was then, as I shook out my hands trying to recirculate the blood back to them, that I felt the weight of what was really making me feel so fragile...

life.

at any given moment we are carrying a load of problems, responsibilities, desires, dreams, worries, fear, wants, confusion, dedication... the list can go on and on...

we have these moments when we can see and feel them all at once.
and in those moments..
I feel the heaviness, loneliness, and darkness start to swirl around my feet like rising fog..
a certain car triggers a lump in my throat.
a song plays while i'm in the baking section of the grocery store and tears come i didn't even know where there.
a boy runs into the bitter cold to deliver forgotten milk.
my baby is up in the middle of the quiet night and i'm alone with my thoughts.
my oldest asks an innocent question about life and death.
a love not submission of great need.
I pass someone on the road.
I feel tears come when I am looking for my other shoe.
I feel overwhelming happiness when I catch the eye of person in the car next to me at a red light.
my heart fills to the brim over another etsy order.
I feel intense love as I look over at my husband sleeping next to me in the winter morning light.
i am pulled and twisted by my past at random moments.
free and loved at others.

our lives are made up of moments. a million little seconds of hurt, and happiness. desire and necessity. simple and big. faith and fear.

equal and opposite.

as I stood and watched, the other people bustle around me living their million seconds, i fought tears. look at us. trying our best. walking in faith, and trusting in God. loving. helping. running to the aid of others. trying even when it's hard, or unbearable.
moving on when one more step feels impossible.
letting love and light in.
giving and receiving.

i read once that we should pay attention to our tears. that our tears mean something about us. not to push our tears away, but hold that moment in our hands, tenderly, and look at it.

when i held my moments standing in line that day and gently acknowledged them, this is what they told me:

you're alive. you're here. you're showing up. you're vulnerable. you're loved. you love. you're okay.

you're okay.

the trick is moving from moment to moment.
allowing ourselves to bend, twist, fall, rise, morph from a hard moment to a beautiful one. allowing the sun to shine on our faces and let it move us from the fog into God.
leaving the shadows to the next moment of faith.
letting our tears squeeze us into the next second, whatever that may hold.
letting ourselves experience each moment, but to also let ourselves experience the next moment.

feeling shadow, or doubt. that is okay.
you're not wrong for that.
you're not bad.
or broken.
you're okay.

as long as you can find a way to keep moving, into the next second, the next moment. because light will be around the corner. the sun will shine. the fog will clear. the thoughts will move to the next. the sun will set, and rise again. we will fall. but we have to get back up and keep going.

because.

you're okay. you're alive. you're showing up. you're loved. and you love.

a million little moments.







moments.

Monday, December 19, 2016


I stood in line at my little grocery store waiting with the other people to send all of our Christmas packages to their homes. I already felt very fragile...
the stress of my day was building..
waiting in line praying that the post man wouldn't pick up that days postage before it was my turn was bringing silly, but real tears close to the surface.
as I stood there, in my own little world, I watched other people, in their own little worlds.

I saw one young boy smile and talk kindly to an elderly lady about a new kind of ice cream. his exchanges with her were genuine and loving.

I watched as a young married man who worked there saw that a woman had left her milk, and took off running out into 3 degrees to find her and get it to her.

a grandma spoiling a cute tiny girl with a donut with pink icing and sprinkles. their smiles were contagious...

I watched my friend, Rayne, working hard trying to help each person in front of me. the post office can be a confusing place, so many shipping options and times and prices. she took her time with each person, always smiling and a "almost to you, court!" to me after each person. maybe she could see me crumbling a little bit as each minute passed..

I stood there, very still, and I realized I was gripping my bag so tightly, like I was trying to hold myself together by sheer force of my willpower.

it was then, as I shook out my hands trying to recirculate the blood back to them, that I felt the weight of what was really making me feel so fragile...

life.

at any given moment we are carrying a load of problems, responsibilities, desires, dreams, worries, fear, wants, confusion, dedication... the list can go on and on...

we have these moments when we can see and feel them all at once.
and in those moments..
I feel the heaviness, loneliness, and darkness start to swirl around my feet like rising fog..
a certain car triggers a lump in my throat.
a song plays while i'm in the baking section of the grocery store and tears come i didn't even know where there.
a boy runs into the bitter cold to deliver forgotten milk.
my baby is up in the middle of the quiet night and i'm alone with my thoughts.
my oldest asks an innocent question about life and death.
a love not submission of great need.
I pass someone on the road.
I feel tears come when I am looking for my other shoe.
I feel overwhelming happiness when I catch the eye of person in the car next to me at a red light.
my heart fills to the brim over another etsy order.
I feel intense love as I look over at my husband sleeping next to me in the winter morning light.
i am pulled and twisted by my past at random moments.
free and loved at others.

our lives are made up of moments. a million little seconds of hurt, and happiness. desire and necessity. simple and big. faith and fear.

equal and opposite.

as I stood and watched, the other people bustle around me living their million seconds, i fought tears. look at us. trying our best. walking in faith, and trusting in God. loving. helping. running to the aid of others. trying even when it's hard, or unbearable.
moving on when one more step feels impossible.
letting love and light in.
giving and receiving.

i read once that we should pay attention to our tears. that our tears mean something about us. not to push our tears away, but hold that moment in our hands, tenderly, and look at it.

when i held my moments standing in line that day and gently acknowledged them, this is what they told me:

you're alive. you're here. you're showing up. you're vulnerable. you're loved. you love. you're okay.

you're okay.

the trick is moving from moment to moment.
allowing ourselves to bend, twist, fall, rise, morph from a hard moment to a beautiful one. allowing the sun to shine on our faces and let it move us from the fog into God.
leaving the shadows to the next moment of faith.
letting our tears squeeze us into the next second, whatever that may hold.
letting ourselves experience each moment, but to also let ourselves experience the next moment.

feeling shadow, or doubt. that is okay.
you're not wrong for that.
you're not bad.
or broken.
you're okay.

as long as you can find a way to keep moving, into the next second, the next moment. because light will be around the corner. the sun will shine. the fog will clear. the thoughts will move to the next. the sun will set, and rise again. we will fall. but we have to get back up and keep going.

because.

you're okay. you're alive. you're showing up. you're loved. and you love.

a million little moments.








there is something that I ask my heart every time I step up to the plate with this thing.

why am I here, and what am I here to offer?

offer you.

and some days, all I can offer is a few words of "i'm in the thick of it, too. hang in there."
some days words come out of me that i needed to hear.
some days i have the words just right and the little Instagram square is a little piece of my heart and soul.

i'm going to show up, and offer myself to whoever shows up to receive that. i am not going to look at numbers or statistics. instead... my questions.

why am i here, and what am i supposed to offer?

because the answer to those questions, they are my art, right now.
they are how i glorify God right where i am standing.

are you creating art, wherever you are right now?

art.

i think that we sometimes think that the only art that can be created is that of beautiful paintings, music, lettering, poetry, or dance. something tangible or purchasable. something that can be put on display, or replayed over and over again. something that has followers or clientele. something pretty and perfectly done. a beautiful package wrapped in a craft paper box with a big red bow.

i don't buy it.
and i'm not biased.
it's the truth.

and here's why.


i mean that in every real sense of the word art.
you were created in the image of God.
God is an artist.

you are His art.
and you were made to create art.

so, ask youself the question.
why are you "here"?
and what are you here to offer?

offering yourself is one of the most powerful forms of art there is.
open your mind to what "art" can mean for you specifically.

can you create art in your relationships?
your friendships?
your career?
your mothering?
how you treat the checker at the grocery store?
in your lettering?
in your interactions with a stranger?
through your personal worship?
as a volunteer?
in your sickness?
in your health?
in your weakness?
in your strength?

is there a right and wrong to creating, or even, being, art?
don't you think, that if you take one tiny step toward creating and becoming what God intends for you, that He will be there?
Christ makes weak things strong.
He makes miracles in our lives and in our hearts.

i know this, because i was lost. and i found art.
i found it in letters.
i found it in my marriage.
i found it in my motherhood.
i found it in the way i am a friend.
and sister.
and daughter.
i found it teaching 5 year olds about Jesus.
i found it at the post office, and the lady behind the counter. (love her)
i found art in my heart.

and you can to.
and when you do you will see miracles. because that's what Christ has and will always do. He will make amazing things happen when you generously give of yourself, wherever you are standing, even right this second.


you.

Sunday, December 11, 2016


there is something that I ask my heart every time I step up to the plate with this thing.

why am I here, and what am I here to offer?

offer you.

and some days, all I can offer is a few words of "i'm in the thick of it, too. hang in there."
some days words come out of me that i needed to hear.
some days i have the words just right and the little Instagram square is a little piece of my heart and soul.

i'm going to show up, and offer myself to whoever shows up to receive that. i am not going to look at numbers or statistics. instead... my questions.

why am i here, and what am i supposed to offer?

because the answer to those questions, they are my art, right now.
they are how i glorify God right where i am standing.

are you creating art, wherever you are right now?

art.

i think that we sometimes think that the only art that can be created is that of beautiful paintings, music, lettering, poetry, or dance. something tangible or purchasable. something that can be put on display, or replayed over and over again. something that has followers or clientele. something pretty and perfectly done. a beautiful package wrapped in a craft paper box with a big red bow.

i don't buy it.
and i'm not biased.
it's the truth.

and here's why.


i mean that in every real sense of the word art.
you were created in the image of God.
God is an artist.

you are His art.
and you were made to create art.

so, ask youself the question.
why are you "here"?
and what are you here to offer?

offering yourself is one of the most powerful forms of art there is.
open your mind to what "art" can mean for you specifically.

can you create art in your relationships?
your friendships?
your career?
your mothering?
how you treat the checker at the grocery store?
in your lettering?
in your interactions with a stranger?
through your personal worship?
as a volunteer?
in your sickness?
in your health?
in your weakness?
in your strength?

is there a right and wrong to creating, or even, being, art?
don't you think, that if you take one tiny step toward creating and becoming what God intends for you, that He will be there?
Christ makes weak things strong.
He makes miracles in our lives and in our hearts.

i know this, because i was lost. and i found art.
i found it in letters.
i found it in my marriage.
i found it in my motherhood.
i found it in the way i am a friend.
and sister.
and daughter.
i found it teaching 5 year olds about Jesus.
i found it at the post office, and the lady behind the counter. (love her)
i found art in my heart.

and you can to.
and when you do you will see miracles. because that's what Christ has and will always do. He will make amazing things happen when you generously give of yourself, wherever you are standing, even right this second.


what keeps us from being wherever we are?
I often find myself in-between where I was, and where I want to be. there is always something or somewhere I want to be that is better or bigger.
bigger bank account.
stronger faith.
more patient mother.
softer wife.
more skilled letterer.
more successful etsy shop...

do I need to go on?!
(i'm cringing now...)

ever find yourself in the "in-between" and hating it? (for lack of better word)

me too.

it's really easy to say to your friend who is dead center in the "in-between" of X and say, "hey girl, but look at all the amazing things around you! you just need to be more present. there is good all around."
it is easy to say.
but it is hard to actually be in the in-between and not go a little bit crazy.

what if we made the choice to lean in to wherever we are.
embrace even, the middle ground of where we were and where we want to be.

the building stage of things like:
building a career
a family
our health
building faith
a relationship
a business..
building stages can come with a lot of expectations.
it can come with a lot of frustrations.
and upsets.
and disappointments.

so what would happen if we embraced that in-between?
would we have more hope?
dedication?
would we be able to "roll with the punches" more?
would we be kinder to ourselves?
would we be more successful?
would we be happier?

I cant speak for you.
but if i'm speaking for me...

I am going to choose to lean into those in-between moments in life. the waiting periods. the seasons of being.

because we can only do what we can do. we only have so much to give.
and life is just too short.

so, embrace it and be.

(in the end, it's all in Gods hands.)
 






the in-between.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

what keeps us from being wherever we are?
I often find myself in-between where I was, and where I want to be. there is always something or somewhere I want to be that is better or bigger.
bigger bank account.
stronger faith.
more patient mother.
softer wife.
more skilled letterer.
more successful etsy shop...

do I need to go on?!
(i'm cringing now...)

ever find yourself in the "in-between" and hating it? (for lack of better word)

me too.

it's really easy to say to your friend who is dead center in the "in-between" of X and say, "hey girl, but look at all the amazing things around you! you just need to be more present. there is good all around."
it is easy to say.
but it is hard to actually be in the in-between and not go a little bit crazy.

what if we made the choice to lean in to wherever we are.
embrace even, the middle ground of where we were and where we want to be.

the building stage of things like:
building a career
a family
our health
building faith
a relationship
a business..
building stages can come with a lot of expectations.
it can come with a lot of frustrations.
and upsets.
and disappointments.

so what would happen if we embraced that in-between?
would we have more hope?
dedication?
would we be able to "roll with the punches" more?
would we be kinder to ourselves?
would we be more successful?
would we be happier?

I cant speak for you.
but if i'm speaking for me...

I am going to choose to lean into those in-between moments in life. the waiting periods. the seasons of being.

because we can only do what we can do. we only have so much to give.
and life is just too short.

so, embrace it and be.

(in the end, it's all in Gods hands.)
 






the most commonly asked question I get asked is:

what pen is that? & what are you using with it?

enter: PENTEL AQUASH + BOMBAY INDIA INK.
lets talk inks for a second.

 my go-to is India ink. I've tried all sorts of brands from very expensive to super cheap. I can't tell a huge difference between them, so my suggestion would be to start cheap, and work your way up as you get more serious.
 second most asked question?
what paper do you use?

answer: watercolor paper, printer paper, cardstock.
simple. :)

how do I use this thing?

its a tricky brush to master. so, don't beat yourself up over it.
I am a dipper.

I fill my barrel with water, and then I dip my brush into the ink.
why?!
I like having creative control over how much ink to water ration i'm using and I am not a good brush washer, so not filling it with ink helps my brushes to last longer.

I wish there was a magic app or brush or ink or paper or filter to give you instant results with this brush and lettering in general.. but there just isn't.

there IS however one thing that i'm confident will without a doubt improve your lettering, i'm sure you've never heard this one before:


Lettering has taught me that, just like with anything in life, practicing is the only way to get better. yes, I can apply this to
my marriage.
my parenting.
my faith.
& every aspect of my life.

and the universal thing that steals any and all joy that comes from the process and progress in all aspects of life?

comparison.

we are all starting somewhere & your right now is the perfect place to start!
there really is joy and accomplishment and inspiration in between the lines of lettering and everything else in life...
finding it can be tricky.
holding on to it can be even harder than finding it.

don't let anyone, or anything take away from your progress or process.
not in lettering.
not in life.

life is just too short.

so.

pentel aquabrush. (available in my shop)
india ink.

and leaning into the process--soaking it up.
and seeing what happens.
 

PROCESS + PROGRESS.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

the most commonly asked question I get asked is:

what pen is that? & what are you using with it?

enter: PENTEL AQUASH + BOMBAY INDIA INK.
lets talk inks for a second.

 my go-to is India ink. I've tried all sorts of brands from very expensive to super cheap. I can't tell a huge difference between them, so my suggestion would be to start cheap, and work your way up as you get more serious.
 second most asked question?
what paper do you use?

answer: watercolor paper, printer paper, cardstock.
simple. :)

how do I use this thing?

its a tricky brush to master. so, don't beat yourself up over it.
I am a dipper.

I fill my barrel with water, and then I dip my brush into the ink.
why?!
I like having creative control over how much ink to water ration i'm using and I am not a good brush washer, so not filling it with ink helps my brushes to last longer.

I wish there was a magic app or brush or ink or paper or filter to give you instant results with this brush and lettering in general.. but there just isn't.

there IS however one thing that i'm confident will without a doubt improve your lettering, i'm sure you've never heard this one before:


Lettering has taught me that, just like with anything in life, practicing is the only way to get better. yes, I can apply this to
my marriage.
my parenting.
my faith.
& every aspect of my life.

and the universal thing that steals any and all joy that comes from the process and progress in all aspects of life?

comparison.

we are all starting somewhere & your right now is the perfect place to start!
there really is joy and accomplishment and inspiration in between the lines of lettering and everything else in life...
finding it can be tricky.
holding on to it can be even harder than finding it.

don't let anyone, or anything take away from your progress or process.
not in lettering.
not in life.

life is just too short.

so.

pentel aquabrush. (available in my shop)
india ink.

and leaning into the process--soaking it up.
and seeing what happens.
 

the weekend.

it's this sigh of relief for me every.single.friday.

I am not a good routine, schedule, bedtime, homework mom. I dread it. I want ty (husband, now you're formally introduced ;) to be home singing and high kicking and making us bacon and eggs.

I want late morning runs with my bff in the freezing cold. and some sort of mid afternoon adventure.

so. FRI-YAY.
you know the feeling!


but today. I woke up with a lingering bad dream. don't you hate that? the dreams that seem so real they stick with you as you get out of bed and you try to shake them off as you fix three tiny bowls of cereal. (that turn soggy and don't get eaten)
that was me today.
shake it off Courtney.
I put the second day of Light the World (www.mormon.org) on the ipad and read a scripture to the girls.

that helped actually.

something about me: I always read into things. I always read my horoscope. and I always want my dreams to mean something.

so. it came as no surprise to me, when I got a text that was perfectly related to my bad dream... and here goes the day.

I was ready to call it. crawl back in bed. put paw patrol on all day long, and just let myself go to the dark and closed up place. that is my first instinct. grr.

a friend texted me. "i don't know what you're going through. but i'm here."

my little brother has cancer.
he will probably stumble upon this and read it someday, so cancery stuff is his to share if he ever feels the  need or want. so, as far as he goes, that is all I say. love him. :)

but. cancer. it effects almost every single person. in some way or another. probably even you.

it is a dark, fiery, trial of faith. one that I often lose.
I wanted to lose it today.
sometimes losing it, feels... meaningful in some twisted way.

but. this friend.
she didn't let me lose. she gave me a simple reminder, no. light. light is there. i'm not alone. he isn't alone.

so.

weekend.

we have a choice.
no matter what your facing.

lose to darkness.
or let light in.

what do you choose?

FRIDAY.

Friday, December 2, 2016


the weekend.

it's this sigh of relief for me every.single.friday.

I am not a good routine, schedule, bedtime, homework mom. I dread it. I want ty (husband, now you're formally introduced ;) to be home singing and high kicking and making us bacon and eggs.

I want late morning runs with my bff in the freezing cold. and some sort of mid afternoon adventure.

so. FRI-YAY.
you know the feeling!


but today. I woke up with a lingering bad dream. don't you hate that? the dreams that seem so real they stick with you as you get out of bed and you try to shake them off as you fix three tiny bowls of cereal. (that turn soggy and don't get eaten)
that was me today.
shake it off Courtney.
I put the second day of Light the World (www.mormon.org) on the ipad and read a scripture to the girls.

that helped actually.

something about me: I always read into things. I always read my horoscope. and I always want my dreams to mean something.

so. it came as no surprise to me, when I got a text that was perfectly related to my bad dream... and here goes the day.

I was ready to call it. crawl back in bed. put paw patrol on all day long, and just let myself go to the dark and closed up place. that is my first instinct. grr.

a friend texted me. "i don't know what you're going through. but i'm here."

my little brother has cancer.
he will probably stumble upon this and read it someday, so cancery stuff is his to share if he ever feels the  need or want. so, as far as he goes, that is all I say. love him. :)

but. cancer. it effects almost every single person. in some way or another. probably even you.

it is a dark, fiery, trial of faith. one that I often lose.
I wanted to lose it today.
sometimes losing it, feels... meaningful in some twisted way.

but. this friend.
she didn't let me lose. she gave me a simple reminder, no. light. light is there. i'm not alone. he isn't alone.

so.

weekend.

we have a choice.
no matter what your facing.

lose to darkness.
or let light in.

what do you choose?
 I've been there.

the lost sheep.

when I was lost, the visual of my Savior, searching for me, and rejoicing when finding me, wandering off down strange roads, and placing me on His shoulders to carry me home....

well, the words were like a salve to my open wounds.

where are you? are you lost? found? are you safely within His reach? or wandering down strange roads?

if you're wandering... you're not alone.
if you're lost... He will find you.

You are His.
all it takes is one tiny step of faith toward Him.. and He will be there.


--------
on a unrelated (but sorta related too..)


looking for something special to give "that" person for Christmas? sick of gifting candles and fuzzy socks? (are those just my go-to gifts?! throw in a pack of target dollar isle thank you cards and that is my ultimate "last minute don't know what to give you" gift ha ha)

Inspired Lettering.



it's the thing to get that person.

go check it out!
guaranteed Christmas delivery until Dec 15th. :)

INSPIRED LETTERING

and.

one tiny step.
I promise.

-court

lost + found.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

 I've been there.

the lost sheep.

when I was lost, the visual of my Savior, searching for me, and rejoicing when finding me, wandering off down strange roads, and placing me on His shoulders to carry me home....

well, the words were like a salve to my open wounds.

where are you? are you lost? found? are you safely within His reach? or wandering down strange roads?

if you're wandering... you're not alone.
if you're lost... He will find you.

You are His.
all it takes is one tiny step of faith toward Him.. and He will be there.


--------
on a unrelated (but sorta related too..)


looking for something special to give "that" person for Christmas? sick of gifting candles and fuzzy socks? (are those just my go-to gifts?! throw in a pack of target dollar isle thank you cards and that is my ultimate "last minute don't know what to give you" gift ha ha)

Inspired Lettering.



it's the thing to get that person.

go check it out!
guaranteed Christmas delivery until Dec 15th. :)

INSPIRED LETTERING

and.

one tiny step.
I promise.

-court


I don't really want to make a big introduction.. I just want to start writing. I want to start right where I am. I recently did a podcast (my first) and I found myself telling the listeners to just jump right into whatever they're feeling pushed to do. "just JUMP!" I basically yelled into the microphone.

..
..

So. i'm in my laundry room this afternoon, at least three loads that need folded, and I get this PUSH.

_insert website_

I felt a push to start this thing. I don't know what it's going to be yet. but I hope its a place where I can share free stuff. where I can teach. where we can learn and grow from each other. I loved the whole podcast idea, so maybe i'll even do some podcasts.

I don't know.
but I do not that in my experience, better things always come from ashes. my book Inspired Lettering was this thing born from complete ashes.

this website blog thing is starting there too.

I promise to be real with you. I promise to be open. I promise to provide words, and thoughts, and probably questions to make you think. I will also fill it with lettering. :)

because, lets face it, letters and words, they're my thing. next to my girls. and that husband guy of mine, that is.

don't just overcome....become. move into something more meaningful. create beauty from ashes. you are powerful, your life is in your hands. you don't have cure world homelessness to create beauty and make a difference.

become.

-court

(ps here's the link to the podcast)
http://mormonmompreneur.com/podcast/

becoming.


I don't really want to make a big introduction.. I just want to start writing. I want to start right where I am. I recently did a podcast (my first) and I found myself telling the listeners to just jump right into whatever they're feeling pushed to do. "just JUMP!" I basically yelled into the microphone.

..
..

So. i'm in my laundry room this afternoon, at least three loads that need folded, and I get this PUSH.

_insert website_

I felt a push to start this thing. I don't know what it's going to be yet. but I hope its a place where I can share free stuff. where I can teach. where we can learn and grow from each other. I loved the whole podcast idea, so maybe i'll even do some podcasts.

I don't know.
but I do not that in my experience, better things always come from ashes. my book Inspired Lettering was this thing born from complete ashes.

this website blog thing is starting there too.

I promise to be real with you. I promise to be open. I promise to provide words, and thoughts, and probably questions to make you think. I will also fill it with lettering. :)

because, lets face it, letters and words, they're my thing. next to my girls. and that husband guy of mine, that is.

don't just overcome....become. move into something more meaningful. create beauty from ashes. you are powerful, your life is in your hands. you don't have cure world homelessness to create beauty and make a difference.

become.

-court

(ps here's the link to the podcast)
http://mormonmompreneur.com/podcast/

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